I look at the clock and sigh as I see the time. I must admit that I knew that we most likely wouldn't make it to church this week, we were all exhausted after a full saturday, and the kids were crabby. But this would be week 5 in what seemed to be becoming a routine of church missing...
0 Comments
I have considered putting together a bunch of drawings that show things I am anxious about in a general day. This will include everything from a bridge falling, to not making it to the toilet. I am worried however that people will be really worried about the dark humor behind it. Of course I know some of my anxiety is not reality based, but I still worry!
If you were to peer inside my house just 5 minutes ago, you would have seen me curled up in a ball on my futon. I would have been sobbing onto a ball of yarn beside my 4 winter tires that haven't quite made it down the stairs from Monday. My kids were sitting watching "Mighty Machines" and I was worried that I would forever scar them. Other moms are teaching their 2 year olds how to read, whittle, and get into the olympics, and I couldn't even handle the thought that I had to feed my kids.
I know today will probably be a washout in the scheme of things, and I hope that my kids don't remember this and feel abandoned. But I have to hold on to the thought that tomorrow will be better, or I wont be able to get up and move on. Maybe today seems like I am lost and alone, but I know my husband is there to help. My kids love me too, no matter how much my son refuses to say it, because I put him for a nap. So yes, today sucks, but I will get up. Until then, can someone come do my dishes? A rant from a highschool homeschooler.Dear College,
I was recently accepted into an electrical engineering program at an awesome college... I am looking forward to start this program, but I decided that I would go ahead and apply with you as well. You see, I am constantly designing things. Dresses, desks, tables, couches, and beds... I dream them up and draw them out. So, dear college, I decided to apply to your furniture making program.
All my life I have had excellent excuses for why I cant do things. So I always knew that if I wanted to do something I would have a good excuse to get it done.
So I did it. Over and over and over and over. I wanted something, I worked my butt off and died of exhaustion, but I got it done. This past weekend was no different. I came up with a plan to camp overnight within biking distance of a chapel picnic, and then we could bike to the picnic. Five years ago, I tearfully gave up a dream that I had. I had tried to enter the airforce after highschool, and although I passed all their tests with flying colors, I was born with a heart condition, and that ruled me out. At the time, I was angry with the world, with my parents, with my faith, and getting given yet another horrible announcement put me into a depression. I was unwanted.
Here is a very neat contest to learn.
Let me tell you the entire tale.... In as short as possible, because it hurts to type!
Last week, I was watching my husband and daughter play while cutting sausages (bad decision on my part) and I sliced off most of my fingertip. It was a terrible bloody mess, and I am still not healed. I will not post a picture because... eww.... I recently found a letter in my things written by my Mom when I was younger and living at home. I remember receiving this letter, although I don't remember the events that got my Mom to write it. It is incredibly special to me now, and was so special to me then.
Take a little time in your day to write down a special surprise note for your kids about what makes them special to you. As a kid, I knew I was loved, because that is what Mom's do. When she took the time to write me a letter, I felt special and worth it, even when I messed up. As a Mom, I am constantly seeing videos popping up about how beautiful I am no matter what size I am. As a woman I'm constantly being told that I need to embrace how I look. And you know what? I do. I dress all funky and do cool things with my hair, and I feel gorgeous. All those movies though, they tell me nothing, it is my husband that makes me feel that way. The other day I heard him say something about how he doesn't like how he looks, and I wanted to tell him... I think he is the most handsome man I know. But I couldn't figure out how to tell him so he would really know.
So here it is. |
AuthorI have one husband, one son, and one daughter. I try to keep everything together, but life is messy! I like cooking, baking, crafts, and books. I dislike doing dishes. Archives
February 2016
Categories |