Five years ago, I tearfully gave up a dream that I had. I had tried to enter the airforce after highschool, and although I passed all their tests with flying colors, I was born with a heart condition, and that ruled me out. At the time, I was angry with the world, with my parents, with my faith, and getting given yet another horrible announcement put me into a depression. I was unwanted.
About a year ago, I was looking into some courses at a local college, and my husband encouraged me to actually go to college for something! I knew I was interested in an electrical course, because I had done some work and enjoyed it previously.
Then I saw something. Aircraft Maintenance. All my dreams came flooding back, here was something I'd always yearned to do! It was a hard to get into course, and I didn't have much to recommend me, but since I could apply for 3 programs for the same price, I did it.... I figured I wouldn't get in, and promptly forgot about it.
And then I got accepted for both courses and had to choose.
I could see the pluses and negatives of both... I spent weeks going over and over both of them. Now instead of joy for getting in the electrical, I had a heartrending decision....
You see, while my dreams were great for me, they weren't so great for my family.... A family I had never dreamed of, one that had snuck up on me and now all my dreams are based around. So yesterday I let my dream go with a sigh of relief....
Today it hit me hard. The pain from losing out on yet another dream. One more thing that I will never have a chance at. Something I know I would love gone, just for more time with my kids who were currently screaming at me and refusing hugs.
So I sat my two year old son down, tears streaming down my face, and told him, "Sometimes you have to make hard choices, and you'll cry about it. But that is ok. Just make sure you make the right one for you."
Then he stabbed me with a fork. But I think he got the point.
Then I saw something. Aircraft Maintenance. All my dreams came flooding back, here was something I'd always yearned to do! It was a hard to get into course, and I didn't have much to recommend me, but since I could apply for 3 programs for the same price, I did it.... I figured I wouldn't get in, and promptly forgot about it.
And then I got accepted for both courses and had to choose.
I could see the pluses and negatives of both... I spent weeks going over and over both of them. Now instead of joy for getting in the electrical, I had a heartrending decision....
You see, while my dreams were great for me, they weren't so great for my family.... A family I had never dreamed of, one that had snuck up on me and now all my dreams are based around. So yesterday I let my dream go with a sigh of relief....
Today it hit me hard. The pain from losing out on yet another dream. One more thing that I will never have a chance at. Something I know I would love gone, just for more time with my kids who were currently screaming at me and refusing hugs.
So I sat my two year old son down, tears streaming down my face, and told him, "Sometimes you have to make hard choices, and you'll cry about it. But that is ok. Just make sure you make the right one for you."
Then he stabbed me with a fork. But I think he got the point.